Friday, October 26, 2012

So...I Took A Few Days Off....

As the title of the post suggests...

I took a few days off from my internship site this week.

And for the sake of being honest, it was suggested by my supervisor.

Why?

Well, unfortunately I can't divulge all the details of that.

Let's just say, it was a trying week for all of us on the unit I am on.

But when it was suggested by my supervisor that I take a few days off, I hesitated.

I immediately thought to myself, "This will make me look weak and that I can't handle what's going on right now. What if this makes me look unprofessional? I just need to suck it up and get back in there."

Sigh.

I feel like I'm stuck in a weird place of limbo right now.

I'm a student...trying to act in professional manner...feeling the pressures of graduation...learning when it's okay to say, "Hold on....I need a time out."

 See, I like to think of myself as a strong person. The person who always has it together. The person who says, "No worries. Come at me with anything. I've got it together for both of us."

Add a dash of perfectionism and there you go. Me.

As a counselor in training, self care is touched upon in class, but it's something we don't really take to heart. 

Until, well...we hit the wall.

And this week friends, I hit that wall.

Isn't this just heartbreaking?!


So, as I stood there contemplating whether or not taking the rest of this week off would make me look like a bad student or not, I then thought of the patients I am working with.

And it hit me, that A) I would be doing a disservice to them because where I was at that moment, I was in no way going to be therapeutic and B) I'm not getting paid for this...the other therapists have this under control.

Maybe she didn't get it completely, but I think on some level my supervisor could sense the internal struggle I was having...and said, "Jennifer, don't worry about this. What's going on right now is ridiculous. You take the rest of the week off and don't feel bad at all about it."

So, I wiped away my tears and took her up on her offer.

And I'm not going to lie. Even though it's probably irrational, I still feel disappointed in myself. I think that I just get so wrapped up & focused on being "super counselor" that I think that no matter what, "I can do this."

I sat on my back porch the other day after coming home, and I cried. And I prayed. And I asked God, "What am I doing? Am I really supposed to be doing this with my life? Please help guide me."

So, I've taken the past few days to sit and be quiet. And listen to Him. 

And to make muffins. Because sometimes you just need to bake something to feel better.

Muffins I made this morning.

Speaking of feeling better...

My mom had left knee replacement surgery this week. She is recovering and will hopefully go back to the rehab facility today. She will (hopefully) only have to spend 3-4 weeks there this time around doing rehab. Before her surgery this week, she had been in the rehab facility since the beginning of July because of the surgery on her right knee and complications that arouse after. As you can imagine, she is beyond ready to go home. So, I ask for prayers for her recovery and for my dad who has been there through it all.

Speaking of prayers and feeling better...

Remember me asking for prayers for my dear friend Ellen and her husband Sean? Well, he is going home from the hospital tomorrow!!! They don't know what caused the infection and lesions on his brain, but the lesions are shrinking and he is feeling much better. I am so happy for them both! Thank you for the kind words and prayers for them. I know they have felt the love from everyone these past few weeks.

God sure is good.

Switching gears...

In my last post regarding running, I had made it up to 9 miles. And as my post mentioned, it was absolutely brutal because of the hills at Shelby Forest. Well, last weekend we all ran 11 miles downtown. Which honestly, was a lot easier. Well, up until the last mile or so when my knee decided that it was going to ache. But I did it. And it was a better run than the weekend before, when I thought I was going to...um...die.
But, this time around, (after 11 miles) my body hurt. All over. Especially in my feet and my calves. I've never had the kind of searing pain running through my calves like I did last Saturday when I got home. So, I went to bed. And slept. All afternoon

And when I woke up...I felt better. Not great, but definitely better. I never understood how important recovery was until last Saturday. But holy moly...it is SO important.

Tomorrow's training run is 12.7 miles. 

Yikes. 

Chocolate milk and Red Bull Zero (not at the same time...ew) are going to quickly become my new best friends...as they will be consumed in a large quantity after that run.

So, if you see a large group of people running around East Memphis tomorrow morning, smile and wave. We need all the encouragement we can get!

I just thought this was funnny.

Switching gears...once more....

Fall has officially arrived here in Memphis as of this morning.

Yesterday, it was 80 degrees. The temp right now? 48 degrees.

In fall-esque fashion, the hubs and I hit up Cedar Hill Farm for some pumpkin picking fun last week.

(I'm sure the hubs would say "fun" is a stretch...)

But we had a picnic, picked pumpkins, fed the animals, and had a really great day.

Picnic-ing. :)


Silly.



Hubs: "I took a silly pic. So you do, too!"


I love Cedar Hill Farm! It's so beautiful and is really lots of fun.

The same day, I took some (assuming I get there...haha) pics for my grad announcements.

Here are some outtakes:

Tigers can pet, too.

Roar.

High five!

Sneaky.

Scared.

Just further proof that I am a complete hot mess.

Later in the evening, I decided to take a pinterest outfit idea...


And make it my own:

Foot shot courtesy of the hubs.

Speaking of outfits, I am on the hunt for the perfect black sweater.

Where are some of your fav places to buy sweaters?

Seems like a silly question, but I honestly have THE HARDEST time finding sweaters that are flattering and that I feel good in.

Let me know!

Apologies for the long post. 

Thanks for hanging in!

Much love, ;)

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