Friday, October 26, 2012

So...I Took A Few Days Off....

As the title of the post suggests...

I took a few days off from my internship site this week.

And for the sake of being honest, it was suggested by my supervisor.

Why?

Well, unfortunately I can't divulge all the details of that.

Let's just say, it was a trying week for all of us on the unit I am on.

But when it was suggested by my supervisor that I take a few days off, I hesitated.

I immediately thought to myself, "This will make me look weak and that I can't handle what's going on right now. What if this makes me look unprofessional? I just need to suck it up and get back in there."

Sigh.

I feel like I'm stuck in a weird place of limbo right now.

I'm a student...trying to act in professional manner...feeling the pressures of graduation...learning when it's okay to say, "Hold on....I need a time out."

 See, I like to think of myself as a strong person. The person who always has it together. The person who says, "No worries. Come at me with anything. I've got it together for both of us."

Add a dash of perfectionism and there you go. Me.

As a counselor in training, self care is touched upon in class, but it's something we don't really take to heart. 

Until, well...we hit the wall.

And this week friends, I hit that wall.

Isn't this just heartbreaking?!


So, as I stood there contemplating whether or not taking the rest of this week off would make me look like a bad student or not, I then thought of the patients I am working with.

And it hit me, that A) I would be doing a disservice to them because where I was at that moment, I was in no way going to be therapeutic and B) I'm not getting paid for this...the other therapists have this under control.

Maybe she didn't get it completely, but I think on some level my supervisor could sense the internal struggle I was having...and said, "Jennifer, don't worry about this. What's going on right now is ridiculous. You take the rest of the week off and don't feel bad at all about it."

So, I wiped away my tears and took her up on her offer.

And I'm not going to lie. Even though it's probably irrational, I still feel disappointed in myself. I think that I just get so wrapped up & focused on being "super counselor" that I think that no matter what, "I can do this."

I sat on my back porch the other day after coming home, and I cried. And I prayed. And I asked God, "What am I doing? Am I really supposed to be doing this with my life? Please help guide me."

So, I've taken the past few days to sit and be quiet. And listen to Him. 

And to make muffins. Because sometimes you just need to bake something to feel better.

Muffins I made this morning.

Speaking of feeling better...

My mom had left knee replacement surgery this week. She is recovering and will hopefully go back to the rehab facility today. She will (hopefully) only have to spend 3-4 weeks there this time around doing rehab. Before her surgery this week, she had been in the rehab facility since the beginning of July because of the surgery on her right knee and complications that arouse after. As you can imagine, she is beyond ready to go home. So, I ask for prayers for her recovery and for my dad who has been there through it all.

Speaking of prayers and feeling better...

Remember me asking for prayers for my dear friend Ellen and her husband Sean? Well, he is going home from the hospital tomorrow!!! They don't know what caused the infection and lesions on his brain, but the lesions are shrinking and he is feeling much better. I am so happy for them both! Thank you for the kind words and prayers for them. I know they have felt the love from everyone these past few weeks.

God sure is good.

Switching gears...

In my last post regarding running, I had made it up to 9 miles. And as my post mentioned, it was absolutely brutal because of the hills at Shelby Forest. Well, last weekend we all ran 11 miles downtown. Which honestly, was a lot easier. Well, up until the last mile or so when my knee decided that it was going to ache. But I did it. And it was a better run than the weekend before, when I thought I was going to...um...die.
But, this time around, (after 11 miles) my body hurt. All over. Especially in my feet and my calves. I've never had the kind of searing pain running through my calves like I did last Saturday when I got home. So, I went to bed. And slept. All afternoon

And when I woke up...I felt better. Not great, but definitely better. I never understood how important recovery was until last Saturday. But holy moly...it is SO important.

Tomorrow's training run is 12.7 miles. 

Yikes. 

Chocolate milk and Red Bull Zero (not at the same time...ew) are going to quickly become my new best friends...as they will be consumed in a large quantity after that run.

So, if you see a large group of people running around East Memphis tomorrow morning, smile and wave. We need all the encouragement we can get!

I just thought this was funnny.

Switching gears...once more....

Fall has officially arrived here in Memphis as of this morning.

Yesterday, it was 80 degrees. The temp right now? 48 degrees.

In fall-esque fashion, the hubs and I hit up Cedar Hill Farm for some pumpkin picking fun last week.

(I'm sure the hubs would say "fun" is a stretch...)

But we had a picnic, picked pumpkins, fed the animals, and had a really great day.

Picnic-ing. :)


Silly.



Hubs: "I took a silly pic. So you do, too!"


I love Cedar Hill Farm! It's so beautiful and is really lots of fun.

The same day, I took some (assuming I get there...haha) pics for my grad announcements.

Here are some outtakes:

Tigers can pet, too.

Roar.

High five!

Sneaky.

Scared.

Just further proof that I am a complete hot mess.

Later in the evening, I decided to take a pinterest outfit idea...


And make it my own:

Foot shot courtesy of the hubs.

Speaking of outfits, I am on the hunt for the perfect black sweater.

Where are some of your fav places to buy sweaters?

Seems like a silly question, but I honestly have THE HARDEST time finding sweaters that are flattering and that I feel good in.

Let me know!

Apologies for the long post. 

Thanks for hanging in!

Much love, ;)

Friday, October 19, 2012

Buffalo Wild Wings 5K.....


Hey everyone!

I thought I would let you all know about a really cool 5K being held next week!

Christin over at A Classy, Southern Wife sent me the info for the Buffalo Wild Wings 5K being held next Friday.

Beer, wings, and live music?

Yes!

Unfortunately, I can't run it, but you can!

Follow the link above to sign up!

Much love, ;)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

I Didn't Know My Body Could Feel So........Exhausted.

Hello friends.

How are you on this Saturday evening?

I hope enjoying Fall and all its splendor.

I know I am.

Today I did something that I have never done before.

I ran 9.27 miles.

Today was our long training run for the week. 

We were out at Shelby Forest and let me tell you...

It was probably the hardest thing I've ever done physically. 

Some of the hills were even steeper than the picture below:


I'm not even exaggerating.

So, as I was trying desperately to keep going...my hips and thigh muscles were screaming at me to stop.

But you know what? Even though I was thinking to myself, "OMG. This is the hardest thing I've ever done physically. I just want this pain to stop!"......

I never thought I couldn't get through it. 

I just thought, "Man this sucks!"

So yea, I had to power walk up a few hills. 

Big deal. 

I still finished. And that's the point.

Here's my long run "before" pic from last week...(I was actually being sarcastic...Baxter was under 2 blankets dead asleep...and I was getting ready to go run 7 miles...way too early on a Saturday morning....)


And this is what I feel like right now:


But hey, tomorrow's another day.

And there are plenty miles to conquer before this goal is fully accomplished.

Honestly, my nieces were my saving graces today. 

And they weren't even there.

But, they were there in my heart and in spirit....

Every time I faced a brutal hill...I just imagined them at the top...cheering me on.



Crazy I know...but hey...it worked. 

Who wouldn't run toward these beautiful faces?


;)

Yesterday, at 5:01 p.m. my Fall Break began.

I don't think I can recall a Fall Break that I was looking forward to more.

Honestly, it's getting really hard to go to work every day and not get paid for it.

I know I know. 

It's a means to an end.

But still...I am sure those of you who've had internships (unpaid) can relate to what I'm saying.

Nonetheless, I am taking a few days to myself.

What's on the agenda?

Wellllll...cleaning my house. 

(Oh, how I lead an exciting life.)

And delving into Season 3 of my new obsession:


Ugh. I know. Don't judge me!

It's totally soap opera-esque.

But I don't care.

And can we talk about the complete 180 degree turn I've made from being a "Dan Humphrey" lover:


To a full blown "Chuck Bass" stalker?!


Dreamy.

I've come to realize that Scott Disick is a total Chuck Bass style doppelganger:

Pretty sure Chuck Bass did it first Scott. Boo-ya.

Anywho, I have another task to accomplish over Fall Break...

I have an interview!

I mean obviously I couldn't start until after I graduate...but I am happy that this person still wants to go ahead and meet with me!

I am also grateful for sweet, awesome people who put the wheels in motion for such things (thanks Heather!).

Let me just say this friends, don't burn bridges.

You never know who you'll meet in life and work with.....and how one day that person just might be able to open a door for you.

That's how I've acquired this meeting. Someone I worked with on my job that ran out right before my internship put the bug in the ear of her boss this week that I was interested in applying at her place of employment. 

And her boss wanted to meet with me. Just like that.

So...just remember....you never know how someone could influence your life.

BUILD bridges...don't BURN them.

So, we'll see.

Another goal for fall break is to return back to my new favorite pizza place here in Memphis.


Aldo's Pizza Pies on Main Street downtown.

Holy bologna.

Seriously THE BEST pizza I've had in a long long time.

Probably since we had pizza in Chicago.

We ordered "The Other Side" to split last Saturday....


And I'm not sure it was enough...

Just kidding.

Look at the size of that thing!

(Of course, I'm sure you just said to yourself, "That's what she said...")

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Anywho.

It was the bombdiggity.com

I can't wait to go back. 

Go check it out for yourself!

I hope you all have a lovely week.

I may even be able to squeeze another post in while I have a few days off...and in between my ogling at Chuck Bass.

;)

Much love, :)

P.S. Friends I ask you to keep my dear, sweet, amazing friend Ellen (she's the person I ran my very first 5k with), her husband Sean, their son Grayton, and their baby girl on the way. Sean has been in ICU here in Memphis for over a week with a brain infection that they haven't been able to diagnose yet. They were able to do surgery and get what they needed to grow cultures to hopefully find out on or by Monday what this monster is. Ellen is due with their baby girl in January, and I can't imagine the hell that this has been for her and for both sides of their family. Especially being pregnant. I whole heartily believe in the power of prayer, and I know that you may not know them personally, but please just say a small prayer for answers, healing, and strength. That has been my prayer mantra for them this past week. Thanks friends. You all rock.

A pic of Sean, Ellen, and me taken last fall. Keep strong you two.